the waiting room

Life is so much of a waiting room. Over the years as I begin to mature, I look back and remembered how it used to be, the two of us, thinking that this was it, this was the way it was supposed to be, forever. Just, waiting.




Then over the years you have to realise that you can't be the one who waits for life to happen. You have to be the one who goes out there and get life for yourself. A few years ago, I thought that it would be okay to procrastinate getting my license done. When I went to take my license at the end of last year, I thought that not many of my friends had had their license. I was quite taken by surprise when I found out how many of them already had theirs done. I could be considered as a laggard on the marketing list of innovators.

It took me awhile but I realised that I had put so many things on hold. I paused onto life because I had a boy to take care of. Maybe I thought that I wouldn't need it. Our break-up made me realised how much I could do for myself, that I was more independent than that I thought I was. That I could achieve so much more than this. Why settle for a boy when you can settle for a man? If your boy doesn't give you the hope or inspiration to achieve to your fullest, dump him! Or maybe dump him and then you'll realise that there is so much more to life than... this.


Anyhow I'm only looking back at times because today, I took a big step towards getting the things I want. Before the test I was sooo.. stressed out because I didn't know what to study. I mean if its like accounts, or law, or marketing or economics, you have a text where you can refer to and such. Even fashion has their own text where students can refer to. But because this job was writing, about fashion, which I am deeply passionate about and I was so freaked out that if I screwed this test, I should just forget about pursuing a job in the fashion industry.

I took a little longer than I was supposed to, not mainly due to my lack of flowery words, okay maybe partially due to it, i took 10minutes instead of the recommended 5minutes because firstly, I thought they were going to give me the details of the items which would make my job a lot less stressful, which of course they didn't, which meant that I had to make up the entire description all on my own. Imagine someone giving you a Marc Jacobs (hint!) top without any details on the top (ie: colour, size, details) and expecting you to make up the parts while on the other side, they probably have the full information of it hoping to see if your answers hit any key words on their list. The second was probably because I had not been writing as frequently as I used to in high school. These days, I only have app. 1-2 assignments a semester and most of them done in groups. So writing is npw a big issue for me because I have not been forcing myself to use flowery words all day unlike the mass comm. or journalism students where writing is the most important aspect of their course.

The great part was, I was ecstatic when I got a reply email from the girl who was reviewing my test. I wanted to jump! for joy and stuff. She said I did great and I could start soon! Hehe..

It suddenly feels like all the emo-ness I've been experiencing these past few weeks subsided. But now, I feel a little more tension in the sense of hoping that I can maintain my standards in fashion journalism. I need the money and the first thing I'm buying is a pair of bad-ass boots. I have 0 boots in my closet and BOOTS are an ESSENTIAL for any fashionista, I mean it.

I feel so happy and dizzy as of now and I think I might be giggling and laughing and talking all day tomorrow.. I can't stop smiling. To think, my first official fashion job. Sales Assistant jobs in a store isn't counted, you know why? Because my colleagues are nonsense. Seriously, why do they hire un-passionate individuals to do a fashionistas job, I don't know. Maybe fashionistas aren't meant to become sales assistants which they should because they seriously need them to convince customers in their products. I swear, almost 100% of all the customers I serve with diligence buy at least 1 pair of shoes. And they come back for more. And they ALWAYS ask my opinion on "Which shoe is better?".

So anyway, time to think of what to wear tomorrow because I'm happy, and when I'm happy, I dress up nicely. Yes, even when I don't have money. Even when my Coach and Furla and Charles and Keith bags are all presents and not bought by me. Even when my most expensive pair of jeans are only RM80. And they tell me money doesn't equal to style. True, but can you imagine how many girls out here would be more than happy to own a pair of jeans that cost less than RM30? You CANNOT find a pair of skinny jeans at that price, let me tell you that. So money is still a factor. and skinnies are a must in every girls closet. MUST.

And that is why from today onwards, I am going to challenge myself to take life by its reins and make more commitments to the things I am passionate about.




Goodnight,
FLA

pictures from: we♥it, tumblr, flickr & KALLOS (hover over images and click)